somewhere between

 
Disclaimer: Before I delve into the writing of today’s blog,
I feel compelled to state the following:

Firstly, if you choose to respond to this blog but have not previously posted a comment, WordPress will send your initial comment to a bucket for approval. Yes, it’s highly annoying. Unfortunately, my blog comment options are limited to …

1) permitting every single comment without moderation which opens me up for the daily Viagra advertisements and money making schemes from India … y’all didn’t want to see those, I’m sure.

2) tossing all comments into the approval bucket which is immensely annoying when y’all have something to get off your chest, not to mention tiresome to me for the time spent approving legitimate comments.

3) allowing y’all to comment once, then push you on through to my ‘Yes-I-Know-You’ list. Your subsequent posts will then appear immediately.

Monty, I chose what’s behind Door #3.

I’ll say this loud and clear.

I AM NOT MODERATING COMMENTS TO THIS BLOG.

Truth.

If you don’t see your post right away, refer to above paragraph and please be patient. There is no conspiracy. Folks, y’all know I’m just not smart enough to initiate a conspiracy. I’m merely away from my computer.

Secondly, this is my blog and these are merely my observations and opinions. It is not my intent to incite, enrage, nor lose or gain friends over an already highly sensitive subject.

I’m just sayin’ …

Tam Paton’s death this week opened the proverbial floodgates for some rather heated discussions, the likes of which I haven’t seen since the old AOL days in the mid-90’s. Truth be told, it was all a bit surreal considering I thought we’d put it all behind us years ago.

But. Hmmm.

I did not personally know Tam Paton. I do not personally know, nor am friends with now or in the past, any of the Rollers. And let’s get real here … 95% of the people in the Roller sphere fall into the very same category. We are merely bystanders, privy only to information that we have heard. When the incidents between Tam and Rollers occurred we were, for the most part, kids in high school. As for me, in high school I believed Eric was going to be my husband … and we all know how that turned out.

So.

I’d like to see the one person that can raise their hand and say unequivocally that they were that little fly on the wall during the 70’s and can say fact-for-fact who is telling the truth … and who is lying. 

Between Tam and the Rollers
Between Eric and Les
Between any of the guys  

It’s quite clear that the stories of what happened are factually in opposition. That presents some interesting scenarios, all of which, for the most part, are really not the point of my blog.

Honestly? What disturbed me most about Tam’s death were the really hateful comments and the subsequent fallout … from ‘both sides’. I’m gonna spank y’all?!

I swear.

When I logged onto Facebook and saw discussions about dancing on graves and breaking out the alcohol, I kinda gasped. I did. While I realize Tam generally inspired nothing but ill will, if not flat-out loathsome feelings, in most people, I gotta tell ya, the comments were … well … disconcerting. Specifically because what anyone knows of the man is heresy at this point.

Okay. Wait.

I’m not implying Tam’s not all that he’s purported to be and perhaps more. I’m only saying 95% of us never knew him personally. And y’all know that is the truth.

And while I’m on the topic of things that are bothersome, I thought the drawing up of ‘sides’ and the deletion of those we once called friends from both Facebook and myspace was a rather passive-aggressive snitty little move. It boggles the mind that someone would delete (or add) friends based on personal opinions of someone else or a situation that touches only in the fringe of our ‘real’ lives.

Even during the 2008 elections when we all had some very terse political discussions on topics that did affect all Americans, I can’t recall anyone being deleted from a community. But we now determine the inclusion or conversely, exclusion of our friends in our online social communities based on the topic of … geesh … it sounds stupid to even say it … the Bay City Rollers?

Oh my.

What’s mostly sad to me is that I was just talking to my husband the other day about the Savannah trip and how far we’ve come in our little group. How so many years have passed and the fact that we’ve managed to strengthen the connecting threads of friendship based on vastly more things than just the initial connection of the Bay City Rollers. This week, however, I’ve seen so many of those threads frayed and clipped in a gnat’s blink.

It’s disheartening. It’s frustrating … and quite honestly, shocking … to see the cattiness and antagonistic attitudes. It’s frustrating to know that in the big picture, none of this touches the majority of us in our ‘real’ lives. And it’s unfortunate that we’ve chosen this opportunity to prove our worth and value as fans to the Rollers by loudly and vehemently supporting topics of which the majority of us truly know nothing about.

The guys are all big boys.  It’s time to let them fight their own battles.

”Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.”
~Benjamin.Franklin~

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7 thoughts on “somewhere between

  1. I love reading your blogs, Lisa. They’re always thoughtful, thought provoking, and many times (most?), funny. This one falls into the first two categories.

    I was surprised to sign onto Facebook this evening to see your status about friends losing friends over Tam’s death. I read this blog, and I find I’ve missed all the catty comments and arguments that have arisen over the news of Tam’s passing. I, too, cannot believe people are still arguing over what he did or did not do, and how it did or did not effect the Rollers, and which side you should be on if (I assum this is the premise/claim) you’re a true Roller fan. As you said, most of us, and I believe is it a higher percentage than 95%, never knew the man, and we don’t know who is telling the truth or not; and most likely, the truth is somewhere in all that is being said by those involved, not just one side. But more importantly, in my opinion, who cares at this point? Is it worth arguing over? No. Is it going to change the past? Not in the least. Does it make someone a better Roller fan to hate him? Only if you’re still fourteen years old and plaster your walls with the Rollers’ pics.

    The most absurd thing here, however, is that this is being used as a litmus test for friendship. How very sad for those who have such a standard.

  2. Lisa- my reasons (note: MINE) for not having the slightest bit of pity that Tam Paton died is not about the Rollers one bit. The man was a CONVICTED pedophile and known drug dealer. As a parent…I take no pity on people like him- I stand by my opinion of him as vile…Not for nothing but OJ Simpson has family & friends who love him and stand by him…in my eyes this does not make him any less vile to me either. EVERYONE is entitled to an opinion on Tams death and we all have the FREEDOM to express it regardless of what reasons we have. Real friendships normally will allow differences of opinion…and debate on the subject. This all JUST my take on the whole thing…

  3. I was going to write a reply this morning, but came here and realized that I may as well just “ditto” everything that Debby said in her comment as that is exactly the way I feel about the entire matter. Thanks for the blog, Lisa. You are always on the cutting edge! 😉

  4. I suspect that a lot of what animates the continuing arguments/disputes/animosities among Roller fans is that, from the very beginning as fans, we were placed in the position of defending and justifying our boys. Remember school days, when the kids in your class mocked you for loving the Gay Sh*tty Bowlers? When your older brother (well, mine) said that they sucked musically, didn’t play their own instruments, etc. etc.? We became fiercely defiant against all those people. Learned to speak out and shout back at them. And when it became evident that Tam was, indeed, not supportive/benevolent in the Rollers’ lives, a lot of fans added him to their crap list. I’m not questioning anyone for doing that, it’s just a fact.

    The defense list swelled again when we realized that even within the band, there were oppositions and fights. Well, now we had to defend our fave Roller against another Roller! I think I’ve seen that play out on various boards….

    I don’t really have a point here 🙂 other than to point out that I feel sad–deeply demoralized really–that all these years later, the love of a really wonderful-sounding band, whose music and players changed my life (and others’, I know), still causes tempers to flare and friendships to falter.

    And my opinion of Tam? A troubled, never-to-be-understood soul who responded to the insistent request of some teen boys to manage their band. Fortunate for us all that he did. Everything that happened afterwards was the result of crushing cultural/societal influences that were massively stronger than pop music itself.

    Thank you for sparking this with your always excellent blog, Lisa.

  5. Well, sweetie, I’m late with this because I’ve been busy.

    But I wanted to say how wonderfully well written this is, well thought out and expressed beautifully.

    My problem with all this is that a) I’m conflicted about his death – I can’t be glad that someone died, I just can’t, but at the same time, I’m not at all glad that this person himself is not around anymore. Yeah, I didn’t know him, I never met him and never wanted to. But like Debby said, he was convicted of being a pedophile so I could never ever be happy he was around, period. What he was purported to have done to the Rollers, as well as the drug dealing and other shady stuff, just added to his nastiness to me.

    This defriending stupidity really just shows that in fact some folks HAVEN’T grown up and after I got over my initial shock, I realized that if they feel that way about me having a different opinion, I guess I never knew them as well as I thought. Too bad.

    Love you, honey. Hope to see you in Savannah!

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