shriek, snigger, and snort

Caught a bit of an older routine of comedian Jim Gaffigan today and, friends, I would be remiss if I didn’t share him with you.  He’s one-of-a-kind. And always … ALWAYS … funny.  If you’ve never checked him out, y’all must. 

Y’ALL REALLY HAVE TOO.

Jim’s currently on tour with his new ‘King Baby’ routine which we watched a month or so ago on Comedy Central.  I laughed so hard at pretty much everything, to the point that oldest son was assigned the job of pausing the TiVo to let me collect myself.  Oh boy.  I thought I was going to lose some brain cells there.  Especially when Jim talked about ‘the bears’.  For days afterwards it was a catch phrase around our house.  I mean … the beeaaaaarrs. Watch it. Y’all will get it.

Some of my personal (classic) favorites … 

Cinnabons

I try to rationalize what I eat but there’s some food you should never eat.  I mean Cinnabon?  Tell me that place isn’t run by Satan.  You ever eat a Cinnabon? You have to take a nap halfway through.  Ummm. I think I need some insulin.  It’s kinda generous calling that a bun. It’s the size of a beanbag chair.  Should I sit in that or eat it?  Hey! I can sit in it and eat it.

Donut Burger

We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle-here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’

Bottled Water

How did we get to the point where we’re paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy’s sitting there, like, ‘How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.’

Writing Postcards

You could be a genius — you try to write a postcard, you come across like a moron anyway. It’s always like, ‘This city’s got big buildings. I like food. Bye.’

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