I do believe my TiVo has gone rogue. Although in fairness, I also suspect that the Bad TV Program Schedule Updater Person needs to be held equally culpable in the matter. Someone should get a good, old-fashioned punch in the chops.
I set up my TiVo scheduling every few weeks as TiVo has the ability to ‘see’ future programming within a two-week time frame. Unfortunately. What TiVo is not smart enough to catch is when programming changes once it’s been scheduled to record.
Sometimes what you ultimately end up recording instead of what you really wanted to see is something you’ve already seen (read: total bummer), something terribly ridiculous (read: an infomercial featuring Montel Williams hawking a blending contraption), or something that if you watch it, will render you sleepless for the next week.
“Thou shalt not watch programs that one did
not intend to record in the first place.”
Break it down. Brown-chicken-brown-cow.
Say it fast. You’ll get it.
I checked my TiVo playlist the other day expecting to find something on elephants or volcanos or puppies on Nat Gee-oh and instead unearth the most ghastly program I do believe I’ve ever seen. Really. Folks, there are some things that just should never see the light of day.
And lest you think I’m a terribly uncaring person, let me state for the record, I have the utmost sympathy for ‘China’s Elephant Man’.
Seriously. I do.
I am not exaggerating one itty-bitty iota when I tell you I cannot even post a photo of Huang from the program because it’s so unnerving. Boggles the mind. Go ahead. Google it. But be forewarned you should not be simultaneously partaking of your lunch when y’all go poking around for a peek.
That’s the only warning y’all are gonna get.
Don’t ask me why I actually watched portions of ‘China’s Elephant Man’. I have no good answer other than morbid curiousity. Honestly? It kept me awake for two nights after.
A&E got into a little program shuffling of their own and I ended up with two half-hour episodes of their new program ‘Hammer Time’. Yes, MC Hammer of the ‘Can’t Touch This’ era. Okay. I liked MC Hammer in the day. Not a fan per se, but hey … he’s kinda catchy.
A&E’s ‘Hammer Time’ is anything but catchy. What a yawner. A big fat piehole-gaping yawner. Please take a moment to refer back to Rule #1 … never watch programs you didn’t intend to record.
Stanley Burrell aka MC Hammer seems like an attentive family guy. Four (five?) kids, a live-in teenage nephew, and longtime wife whose name has eluded me. Mmm. Not so memorable.
Sadly? They’re all normal. Not exactly a clever recipe for edge-of-your-seat reality television.
First episode we take a trip about Ye Olde House with Hammer and spend five minutes of valuable airtime searching for his lost cell phone.
Then. We watch Hammer update Twitter via new-found cell phone.
Beyond that, I got nuttin’.
Well. Other than ten minutes of the family spring cleaning.
Mercymeohmy, willyalookatthat. Hammer’s famous baggy pants, replete with Bedazzled jacket, are miraculously ‘discovered’ in the back of the closet during said cleaning. Insert five more minutes of painfully uncomfortable viewing while Hammer and wife turn mushy over fond memories.
Oh. And then in the whole mess there was some contrived studio dancing with Cousin Marvin, the sweaty Barry White clone. And. Well. Gosh, if there was more to that initial episode, it has dribbled right back out of my head.