time in the tunnel

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  ~Psalm 18:28~

Several nights ago I had a dream.  Well. I dream every night, but this particular dream was of the variety that when I woke up I KNEW IT MEANT SOMETHING.

In this dream I was walking into a tunnel that grew increasingly darker the further we progressed.  At one point it became pitch black.  As in Black on Black.  Wow.  Kinda reminds me of the AC/DC song.  It’s been years since I heard that track.  Wait that was ‘Back in Black’, right?

Anyhoo.

BACK TO THE TUNNEL.  STOP CLOWNING AROUND AND GET THIS BLOG WRITTEN.

So.  There was someone in front of me and someone behind me, and as we reached that deepest, blackest point, we all stopped walking.  We were too scared to walk forward.  And we were unable to turn around and retreat back along the path from which we’d come. 

Then something said, ‘Just keep walking and keep talking. I’ll get you out.’

So we began walking again, this time talking our way through the rest of the tunnel until we reached the end and stepped out into daylight.

And then the alarm went buzz-buzz-buzz.

I find that when I’m stressed, I tend to dream of tornadoes.  When I’m going through a particularly difficult part of my life or, conversely, anticipate that my life is going to change in a manner in which I would not necessarily chose for it to change, I dream of tunnels. 

I will state for the record. I HATE LIFE’S TUNNELS.

I do. 

HATEHATEHATEHATE … OHSOHATE THEM.

But.  As more and more of my life unfolds, I realize that sometimes I need those tunnels.  Well.  Okay.  This, of course, is an observation made purely in retrospect. I never feel like I need these tunnels when I’m in the middle of them.  In fact, I go into them kicking and screaming just like everyone else.  And sometimes when I’m really dadgum tired of crawling about blindly in the tunnel, I get kinda angry

I start challenging God, ‘Why me?  Ya know, Lord, I’ve had it up to about here of doing this whole Into-the-Darkness-to-Show-You-the-Light schtick.  You and I, well we’ve done this quite a few times now.  So.  Why can’t y’all go pick on Boo Boo over there who never seems to have any tunnel experiences!?  Boo Boo’s just lollygagging through life, for cryin’ out loud. PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE.’

I swear, I’m going to be so embarrassed when I finally meet my Maker.

For me, a Life’s Tunnel can be a very frightening place. It’s dark and precarious, full of Things Out of My Control.  I can’t see ahead.  And I can’t go back to the Way it Was.  Often, the tunnel is a very lonely place to be. 

However.  Life’s Tunnels have a way of strengthening me, sometimes breaking me open to utter barrenness in order that I have room to be filled and healed with better things.  The tunnels teach me perseverance in a way I couldn’t learn otherwise.  Of opening my eyes to show me where I’m making grievous errors in my own path.  And of showing me that while I can’t control everything in my life, there is a Bigger, Infinitely More Rewarding Plan for me. 

Most importantly, when I’m in one of Life’s Tunnels, God and I are justhisclose.  Because I’m talking to Him more.  I’m praying without ceasing.  And maybe he takes us to That Place for that very reason. 

Bring a flashlight.

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