It’s a game, a game, a game that we’re playing. But I don’t mind,
cause I don’t make the rules. ~Bay City Rollers~
Clarification: Based on the commentary I’ve received regarding this blog, I feel it necessary for the sake of my Real Family’s peace and good name, to advise my readers that this blog is not a true story. You must savor and ponder the analogy (that is, if you have time to waste).
Subtle (apparently way too subtle) hint:
Bay City Roller song lyric preceding the blog. Think Events of This Week.
PS: My friend, Connie, advises that this is known as ‘satire’. I bow to her wisdom and command of the English language.
The other day I conjured up a terribly brilliant (if I do say so myself) idea that I would create an Official Website for the Family of Baa the Magnificent. Or at least Baa of Relatively Insignificant (But Always Striving for More) Fame. The momentum for this project built to such irresistible proportions in my own mind, I decided to announce it. Or blurt it out. In either event, some magical force finally released the Incredibly Awesome Far-Out News from my wee little fingertips to the Internet masses.
AND THERE IT WAS.
As expected, all my friends thought I was the shazizzle. And they fawned all over me. No shocker there. Pffft. Because. Well. The public has been waiting a long time in both joyful, and somewhat painful, anticipation for the coming of the Stories from the Life of Baa.
IT WAS DAY OF GOOD FEELINGS INDEED.
My mind eagerly churned with all the never-before-seen family reunion photos I could share. Oh my goodness, all the ludicrous tales I could tell. Ho ho ho! And just think of all the secret recipe jelly preserves and cross-stitch pillows I could sell in the Online Family Store.
WE’D EVEN ACCEPT PAYPAL.
Unfortunately. Once my (in my opinion, ungrateful and quasi-crazy) family got wind of the Official Project, I soon discovered that Uncle Wilbur wasn’t nearly as keen as I thought he would be to share his life with others. And in no uncertain terms told me I’d best mind my P’s & Q’s. Uncle Wilbur always was a money-grubbing nincompoop anyway. Now. All my friends think so too.
TAKE THAT UNCLE WILBUR.
Then Aunt Gladys said if I was going to toss all her showgirl Polaroids out for the world to see, she was certainly entitled to some cabbage for her efforts.
THAT WOMAN HAS THE NERVE.
All I was trying to do was get a little promotion for myself… I mean … my family … and this is what I get? Next time, I might just say pooh on them and call it my Un-Official Family Website like Lawyer Bart told me I should have in the beginning.
For the record, I’m glad you all agree with me.
IT’S WHAT KEEPS US FRIENDS.